Distorted Friendships


Often times, we make lovers out of friends..

Ruining chances of a solid bond..Before it even begins.

I think I finally understand…

How some of the greatest relationships came to an end..

Some of my greatest moments..

Wrapped up in sweet poison…

The beautiful monster destroyed them.

Erosion in passionate explosion..

Fireworks that were never meant to happen..

Nurturing her feelings turned into busting nuts..

Uncontrolled lust led to us…fucking up..

A beautiful friendship.

“How many of us have mistaken friends for lovers?”

As a being who happens to be extremely in tune with my sexual energy, I could raise both hands.

“Yes, I have.”

Let’s be honest, and take a second to gain another perspective. Some of us, like myself, need to be more mindful of how we treat those we 1st meet — listen, I’m talking to my freaks. We should definitely exercise more self-control and discernment towards our newfound friends and souls that we just “click with”. Time and time again, I’ve met a chick that my soul meshed with. As if we came together so naturally…as though our strong connection was just meant to be. Looking back to reflect on the past has brought me to my present reality. Which is that there’s no guarantee; just because we vibe mentally, spiritually, and verbally, doesn’t mean we have to escalate into a physical romance of any sort. I mean…..basically, I’m saying that everyone we come across that we FEEL in our spirit is meant to be there for us and with us, doesn’t necessarily need to become our lover. In fact, many times it does more damage to the relationship, trying to mold it into something that it was never meant to be. Platonic friendships are a blessing that some of us even overlook, because we’re so focused on getting a piece of the pussy to satisfy our own covetous appetites. But when we step outside of ourselves to analyze a bigger canvas, we find (later than sooner) that certain people and mates are there for growth in both individuals. Its more so a matter of growth and learning, while enjoying each other. That doesn’t have to mean enjoying each other between the covers. It could simply mean supporting and helping one another. The sexual attraction that we feel towards a friend could be just their thoughts in sync about the wild adventures of vulnerability between 2 people who feel comfortable enough to admit how they don’t want to be alone. Those energies come together in such a distorted form because sometimes, deep down in their core, they want different things. Housing different dreams in their souls. And maybe, just maybe they thought they’d lose each other somewhere down the line if they didn’t “mate” with each other. The extremely sexually open beings that I’ve seen tend to want to share everything…including DNA.

I guess what we have to realize at some point is that what brings us together doesn’t always mean it will make us stick together for the long haul. It can go back to that common old proverb, “some people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime…so try not to hold on too tightly.” Shit, “some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go.”

The main point I’m trying to get across on this subject is that it wouldn’t be a bad idea for some of us to really slow down and look into why we feel so compelled to jump the bones of those that make us feel so at home in their presence. Everybody ain’t lonely, so there’s no generalizing on that reason. I used to think I was something like a nymphomaniac…or sex addict. Now I believe that its just a matter of better discipline in my own personal experiences. Come on, my people with big open hearts…who love sex and delight themselves in physically pleasing others and/or being pleased themselves. Let’s stop mistaking our lessons for blessings. Let’s stop thinking that just because we feel a strong, spiritual connection with a certain someone, we have to do everything we know how to hold on to them. We don’t have to cuff ’em. Let’s just let love flow freely… learning how to just BE, in the midst of great company.

The Struggle Continues…


As the days press on,

I realize how strong I am..

How much more calm I am..

Dealing with certain challenges.

A new set of matches..

Set ablaze a new path…

To a new journey.

Goodbye New Mexico..

I’ll be back on the west coast.

The Sunshine state welcomes me back,

With the warmth of its wintertime

Sweet & sublime..

In the midst of the sun’s heat,

I lost my best friend…

In a matter of two weeks..

Or maybe just being blinded..

By defense & deceit..

Had an epiphany..

On what best friendship..

Was supposed to be.

Needless to say,

Nigga ain’t hesitate..

To move on

Back to my hometown?

No. I’m just laying low..

Like a set of testicles…

Moving in silence..

Not making any spectacles.

I’m around, but I’m GHOST.

Wake Up !

The damsel in distress is a complex..

So is sucking-dick-for-the-rent kinda mindset

When she suck a nigga dry, she’s on to the next guy..

Marilyn she idolize — tatted on her left thigh

How many times will she give it for free?

When she sold her soul, then she lost her dignity..

She’s slurping up niggas like they’re made outta Henny,

Gotta penny for her thoughts, but she ain’t trynna hear me.

She’s a real live wire and she never will retire..

It seems that way, at least, no man could satisfy her.

She’s a trip off a cliff and a beast in these streets..

Niggas fall in love off rip, but not me.

Yeah the sex is deep, but ain’t no chemistry..

If it were up to me, I would be the remedy…

Quench her soul’s thirst; apparently she’s thirsty..

Fill up her love tank; apparently its empty..

Image result for on the flip side

The nigga that ain’t woke is a joke..

Skating through the world with a scale an some coke.

He thinks he has it made, but he’s stuck in this allegory cave

And deteriorating minds won’t try to get saved.

He spreads his seed all across the land…

Like he has no need or little time for romance..

If he listens, he can hear his grave calling his name

With high hopes of being placed on the wall of shame.

Lonely sons & daughters miss their absentee fathers..

Baby mama drama problems soon after follows..

Piled with other issues — he can’t seem to solve ’em

Always got an excuse for why he doesn’t bother..

His head is filled with roots of lies and false truths..

If that nigga was me, I would be trynna reach the youth

Quench their souls’ thirst before they get thirsty..

Fill up their love tanks before they get empty…


Spiritually abound to this ghetto lifestyle..

This is how my hood niggas & bitches get down !

Oh how I wish they would pause & get down for the cause..

And society could see past their fuck-ups & flaws.


How do you maintain gratefulness in a hateful environment?

How do you forgive without forgetting?

I mean some say I ain’t living because I’m not willing..

To let shxt go, but I don’t know man…

Somebody please help me understand

Am I a victim to my own ignorance of God’s plan?

I heard he had the whole world in His hands

The Word says in the 3rd verse of Romans 10:

“Since they did not know the righteousness of God,

and sought to establish their own, they did not submit.”

Hence why I became so distant..

However, I’m persistent in pursuing my relationship with Him

Especially since I’ve been feeling so left out

An outcast in my mother in law’s house..

Assed-out and casted out with no cash right now

So, am I supposed to bow down now?

Humility is a virtuous trait

Holding on to my pride is how I play it safe

But that’s what got me hear today [PRIDE]

A nigga need change like namaste

My personal transformation is underway

My spiritual being is under construction

As a human being who was headed for destruction,

I should know corruption when I see it in my face

And I know when my presence is not desired in a particular place

You know that feeling you just can’t seem to shake…?

I’m talking about blocking out that negative energy

I am NOT who I used to be

Though it’s hard to discard certain parts of myself..

For the sake of my mental health,

I must take some alternative steps..

We should all take heed to this heartfelt letter…

Believe that it is better to be thankful for what we got

Despite our have-nots..

As far as forgiving without forgetting…?

Well, for me, the secret to that is still pending.

WTF Told Ya’ll To Cancel The Get Down?!

OMG, dawg ! I cannot BELIEVE Netflix is cancelling my show, yo! I’m sitting here getting caught up in click-bait… then messed around and stumbled across Richard Lawson’s article, The Get Down Is a Letdown (& strong opinion) of this supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ass show.

When the DJ found his Wordsmith.

If you were born after the late 80s, you are probably lost in the sauce. I’m a 1990 baby; I just have a knack for my urban history. And I don’t know how old Mr. Lawson is… I don’t know how he came up with his analysis of the show. I would love to have a discussion with him about our opposing perspectives. In the meantime, I’m gonna talk about how I think his viewpoint is bullshit, discombobulated, and how it really just sounds like a bunch of jibber-jabber to me. Now I may not be a savant with the most impressive vocabulary — I am not that scholar. Being a college graduate alone doesn’t make anyone a scholar (although I was diligent in my studies). I would just consider myself sort of, but not quite an intellectual.

Anyway, I have yet to see any of Baz Luhrmann’s other creative works. But I would have to stick The Get Down in my collection of favorites. Is that nigga independent? I applaud him for the ability to bring the past back to life. Not only that, but in such a colorful way — mixing parts of retro comic action into the real action. For me, the show was very exciting to watch! Like any other contemporary show, it tells the stories of multiple characters. Ezekiel (the poet & wordsmith). Mylene (the aspiring singer). Dizzy (the graffiti artist) and his two brothers. Shaolin Fantastic (the apprentice of Grandmaster Flash. Many that know the true history of some of the characters would argue the facts…like how DJ Kool Herc, Grandmaster Flash, and Afrika Bambaataa never actually came together to kick the asses of local drug dealers. But I’m not here to type about that!

“…I’d say the show is as much about the death of disco as it is about the birth of rap..”

-Justin Clarity, ‘The Get Down’ is the Origin Myth That Hip-hop Deserves

Right! Its about an over-the-top love story. One of teen romance. One of hip-hop. One of life and its struggles in that given time period. It really draws my attention because of how they make the first days of hip hop come alive. Damn the accuracy of what was actually going on! That ain’t the point of the production! I also think that Luhrmann being from Australia and whatnot was very interesting considering the nature of this urban show. Whoever argues that this show lacks authenticity can suck on gorilla balls because I can conjure up a list of new or recent epic fails. As an Afro-Caribbean individual, I feel pretty confident about knowing whether or not a show like this comes across as genuine.

“…I have a hard time imagining that many people will want to watch more of The Get Down..” -Richard Lawson, The Get Down Is a Letdown

Let’s agree to disagree, yes? I don’t know if The Get Down got high ratings. I only know that I enjoyed it from a Netflix junkie’s perspective. Honestly, I think a show like American Soul has no realness to it simply because the black folk in that 70s era spoke so….proper.? HOW they speak throughout the show throws me off to the point where I’m turned off to watch anything past the pilot. If the story of The Get Down wasn’t real enough, at least the characters of the show were…fuck the disorganization of story lines. People in the real world have disorganized lives.

According to the media, The Get Down was too expensive for Netflix with not enough potential. I’m sad about the way things worked out, but I know its business. If I was head of Netflix and I realize that this show costed roughly ten million per episode, I’d probably abort that mission too.

Timeless Music

Grown folks mind with a keen sense of time…

Jazz, blues & rhythm flow into my rhyme..

Born into the 90s of booty shakin’ & Miami Bass sounds…

Yeah I can still get down & scrub the ground..

But I got an old school groove with new school views…

And swagg so smooth, it makes my grandma look cool..

Luther & Lenny spoke about historic love rules…

Who indulges in love now who really wants to play the fool?

Who listens to music that never retired?

Earth, Wind, & Fire…

Who listens to artists that actually disses crack?

Smokey Robinson & Bobby Womack…

Across 110th street… is where they paved the way for this bullshit we hear today..

Smoke yo’ dope, drink yo’ liq, throw up yo’ fists, start some shit;

Or pull out the stick —- yeah nigga I be icebergin’ it sometimes cuz its the generation I grew up in..

I been acting grown since I can remember when…

I was a kid, I use to mix with the older crowd like juice & gin..

I’ve always been told I was wise beyond my years…

With a hint of diversity — Tears For Fears..

Life lessons preached from mouths with grey beards…

Often their words have tenure,

“You better learn from other people’s mistakes..

Stop trynna move so fast, better pump yo’ brakes..

Same people you runnin’ after won’t be there always.

Be grateful of what you have; count yo’ blessings, not ya days.”

When I reminisce back through my life,

I realize that the shit they were talkin’ was right.

From Blunts to Joints !

Welcome back to High Times

Since I’ve been back to the sunshine state, I’ve come across a brand new way to smoke (new for me anyway). I’m a heavy smoker though sometimes, I take time out to detox. This gives my tolerance a chance to come down a bit. And if you’re a heavy smoker, you know about that tolerance. So for all of you looking for a slightly better way to smoke while still enjoying the roll-up process… If you’re tired of cigarillo wraps and trying to get away from the chemicals of the clippers, games, white owls, dutch, swishers, white cats, and phillies, feel free to steal this new recipe for maximizing your high!

1. First Things’s First – Assuming you already got your ganj, all you need is some rolling papers and some grabba leaf. Its all in the matter of preference I suppose. However, if you don’t have any and its your first time experiencing a cleaner high, may I suggest the RAW rolling papers? You know, the tannish looking little sheets? You also might wanfi start off with the long ones for smoother practice. Be sure to grab the big pack (more for your money) of grabba leaf when you spot it too. Grabba leaf is a 100% full tobacco leaf that comes in a green pack; the smaller pack comes in a light colored package. Allow me to forewarn you that it is not easy to find. Not every 7-Eleven or convenience store have it. Neither does every single smoke shop you walk into.

2. Bruk It Down – Shitty weed is best broken down by a grinder. The better or more loud your green is, the more you’ll probably want to break it down by hand. I’m finna tell you right now though: just skip the grinder if you’re a beginner at rolling papers. Once you have your herb broken down, open your pack of grabba leaf.

3. Add/Mix in Grabba Leaf – Unravel it just enough to snatch a piece off. Make sure its the right amount; not too little, not too much. The rule of thumb would be something like no less than a third of the joint and no more than half of the joint depending on the amount of weed you’re rolling. Tear that piece into even more pieces and burn it with a lighter to make a it crumble more easily. Proportion it across the joint or better yet, just mix it into the weed you’re about to roll up. The whole point of the grabba leaf is to slow the burning of the papers.

4. Ready To Roll? – The trickiest part for me because if you MUST know, I’m no expert at rolling papers. In this case, you’re using two sheets and don’t forget to ball them up. Undoing them will make for some nice crinkles <– they are essential. Now sit one to the side. I use my bank card to scoop all that I can onto the first paper. Whatever doesn’t fit can be put up for another session. This roll doesn’t have to be tight. In fact, I recommend you roll loosely. One of the main reasons I’ve always been reluctant to smoke joints is because of how long they last. They burn so damn fast! Its like…they have no longevity whatsoever. Yet again, that’s where the grabba leaf comes in.

5. Reinforcement – Take that second street and reinforce the first roll. This is where you want to roll it tight, just right and nicely snug around the first one. Figure out which side you wanfi smoke out of. Light the joint. Enjoy.

P.S. Feel free to see https://brielikethecheez420.wordpress.com/2018/02/20/5-tips-to-maximize-that-dumb-high-you-so-desire/ before following your normal routine***

Livin’ Amongst Death #MIAMI2010

I’m no pussy underneath this exterior, but I damn sho’ don’t try to pretend I’m hard. I carry myself with a certain confidence… Don’t get it twisted, I’m not fearless. Every time I’m in the streets, I think of death because it’s so many people getting’ killed & robbed on a daily basis. I know I’m no exception and that alone brings fear to my heart….I never let that fear surface. I cruise, ride, & walk these streets with fear tucked deep down & boldness upfront because the minute you let that fear come to the surface, ya dead. I don’t see fear as something you can get rid of, but something you gotta control… When I got robbed, I have to admit that my fear came close to showin’ on my face…they were gone before that happened. I don’t have too much of an issue controllin’ my fear maybe because I know these streets more than a stranger would…I been in ‘em enough. There are a lot of niggas I know that would slide for me and a lot of niggas I don’t know that don’t give a fuck about me… I grew up in the Sub and Liberty City mostly…death was always close by. Before and even to this day, I weep for victims: lost peers & young kids….like the young girl who got shot dead in the head in front on projects I used to live in…..like the lil’ girl who was shot to death in the backseat of a car in Lil Haiti…like the boy who was shot 7 times in the head right there at the park with all his family there in broad daylight….like the young man who was recently murdered on 46th street.. In those projects that my grandmother lives right across from…this kind of shit always hits close to home…in more ways than one. Many deaths alone this year…not just in Miami but all over this country. Shit done got so bad that a lot of this shit don’t even air the news anymore…Just another nigga gone. I wonder if that’s how they see it. When I’m in these streets, I have a relaxed attitude with an aggressive 1 right under that layer. Just because I’m not affiliated with a gang or trappin’ don’t mean I can’t get ran up on…everybody out here is a target…just that some are easier than others.

But I don’t let fear overwhelm me to the point where I won’t go certain places or walk down certain streets… because I walk with a certain confidence…besides, why should I be afraid of dyin’ anyway?…everybody else is doin’ it.. It’s inevitable.

Dark Chocolate: Special Edition

I love a dark woman’s skin

Chocolate toned with a cherry to pop within

Those thick thighs and rich eyes of sexual sin

Reflecting mine over time

See I want her in more ways than one

And we can both plant kisses all over each other,

having a threesome with the sun.

Locking lips for fun and stroking her til she cums.

We make it look easy in the wet rain and hard in the dry heat.

Wetness running down the side of her cheek,

down her torso and past her hips, increasing the moisture underneath.

She enjoys me on my knees as I bow to her feet.

Tasting her viciously, she likes to look down on me.

As a queen should and could, she says “good dog, eat me good.”

Some twisted version of pleasure that makes me even wetter.

My dark empress knows that all it takes is her presence to light my flame.

Her skin tone, alone, puts all these other shades of women to shame.

The Reason For My Absentee..

Depression. It’s easier to type than to speak on. As a member of the black community, I know all too well about the stigmas of not speaking or dealing with mental illness directly. So excuse me if I’ve been M.I.A. since my last post. In case anyone cared, I just wanted to let you know that I have been drowning in my emotions, but somehow I am floating and barely managing to keep my head above water.

If someone were to ask me about my chronic depression and constant bad habit to fall off the face of the earth, I wouldn’t even know where to begin to dig. What is the origin of this sad, sick shit? Should I blame my mother for how she raised me…with little to no regard for the next person’s feelings? Or should I blame my father for inheriting destructive traits such as anger and aggression? Both of my parents were firecrackers and as if that wasn’t bad enough, neither of them were good at verbal communication.

Tears bombard me daily and I fight to keep them from falling. My employer has sent me home several times already after breaking down at work….boss-lady says she can’t have me there in tears because I deal with customers. I told her that I can push through my tears if I have to; I certainly don’t have to leave work. She just doesn’t want me crying and moping at work. Though, I’m not a robot. I can recall many times I’ve worked with my red, puffy eyes and quivering lips. In all actuality, no one really cares. People are too wrapped up in their own lives and messes to wonder why the hell the cashier is balling her eyes out in front of them.

Recently, I’ve signed up for a weekly group session for anger management. I thought I should take more proactive measures for handling my anger — weekly sessions with my personal counselor doesn’t seem to be helping much. I sat in for the first time just two days ago…. and this guy was saying some pretty crazy shit. He mentioned that the highest suicide rates tend to be in the months of May and June. I’m embarrassed and at the same time quite frightened to think of how many times in the past week that I’ve thought of taking myself out. The only reason I’m still breathing is honestly because of my wife. Because I cannot be that selfish.

“It’s been too hard livin’, but I’m afraid to die…”

Currently. I’m listening to Sam Cooke’s A Change Gon’ Come… trying to gather and muster up any form of strength I can to continue and be inspired. All I can say is that it is DAMN hard to give positive vibes off to someone you love (or anyone for that matter) when you can barely fill yourself up…